Am I My Brother's Keeper?!

Currently listening to: R.Kelly " I Wish "







Now I must admit in the past that I never gave a shit about what's going on in foreign affairs. I always just felt for the most part the poor soldiers who get stuck in the "battle" were just pawns being used to fight for shit most of them could care less about. I mean I've had 3 homies in the Navy(1 finished his time) & I always told them they were dumb for joining the Navy. But now 1 of them is being sent off to Iraq & shit obviously has hit home. This nigga is a brother... I mean I've know him since elementary school. I know God will take care of him & bring him home safely. But now I'll be paying closer attention to what's going on around the world because I've got family involved in this mess. He didn't join the Navy because he's some patriot(nigga not even American, he's from Jamaica) but just because they were offering a chance for him to better himself. He was never too much of the school type. I have found myself praying way more than I have ever prayed in the past recently. I'm not overly religious but I believe the bible verse goes something like, ".. I look to the hills for which cometh my help, my help cometh from the Lord ". I know God has given me everything I have in my life & he will provide me with everything I ever will have. Now I have to include my brother in my prayers... I pray God keeps him safe for himself, his family, & his friends. When his time to come back to New Jersey for good has come we gonna party like we never partied before.

Definitely, Maybe........

Currently listening to: 112 " Love You Like I Did "





Being that I took a nap at like 8PM last night, I can't sleep but I ended up seeing a pretty good move. It's called " Definitely, Maybe " featuring Ryan Reynolds & I must admit this dude has to be the king of romantic comedies. He was also in the movie " Just Friends " which was also another pretty good movie. The reason I brought this movie up is because I feel it gives me further assurance that everything indeed happens for a reason. In the movie, Ryan's character keeps having several encounters with this 1 woman in particular & with a few females in between. Not to kill the movie but basically after a kid, a divorce, & time he realizes that this female is the female he should've been with in all along. As much as I call other guys sissys for being all emotional & shit, I must admit that I rather enjoy romantic comedies.

Now in my own life there is someone of the opposite who I feel God has introduced me to for good reason. We have our disagreements & stop talking to each but we always seem to find our way back to each other. I don't have a dumb movie perception of things & think that we're soulmates or some shit like that (that's like waiting up for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve or putting a tooth under your pillow waiting for money). But I am very convinced this is someone who's going to around me for a very long time in whatever capacity. I can't predict the future so I won't even bullshit myself by attempting to create some fairy tale ending in my mind. Fairy tales are just that.... tales!! A story being told about some happy happy joy joy kind of shit.

I'm really starting to come a peace with who I am as a man so I'm putting everyone around me in whatever category my experiences with them have qualified them for. I've had this long drawn out disertation in my head for a couple of months but I'm not too sure I'll ever get to say it. Just a lot opinions & emotions wrapped in 1 of those rants you see during the climax in a romantic comedy. " Definitely, Maybe " brought this rant back to forefront of my thoughts because I placed to the back of my mind while ago. Not wanting to go through the trepidation involved with going on such a rant I just continue to bite my tongue. But I fear if I keep biting my tongue when I finally get the chance to go on my rant I won't have too much of a tongue to say the words I've rehearsed in my mind repeatedly.

Take a number & wait in line son.....

Currently listening to: Drake "Houstatlantavegas"




It feels like quite some time ago I was given a number & told to wait in line. But here's the tricky part..... I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M WAITING FOR!!! It's 1 of those moments in which you feel like you're being lead blind folded through the jungle. I know there is all kinds of crazy shit in the process of me waiting & getting to the end of the journey. I just want to lift my blindfold so I can at least take a peak of what's at the end. I consider myself a pretty patient dude but it's only some much blind faith a person can exhibit without having a clue about what the end result. Hopefully I'll find out soon because if I don't I'm taking down some animals along the way through the jungle to my destination.

Valentine's Day......

Currently listening to: Stevie Wonder " Part Time Lover "

So the question of whether or not I have a valentine keeps resonating from the mouths of females I know. Of course I don't have a fuckin' valentine, these bitches must've forgot who they were asking. I sat & thought about the concept of valentine's day then came to a conclusion. People who are not in an established should not be celebrating valentine's day. Why am I just going to get a gift to a person I'm mildly fond of or even engage in sexual activity with them just because it's 02/14? Even if I was in an established relationship, does it mean I wait until valentine's day to show how much I care for my partner? Valentine's day has become in all actuality a less religious Christmas. All it's about is getting gifts for someone and big corporations making money off of people's feelings. You have to love american industry!!! With all this said, it doesn't mean I won't be getting anyone anything but I damn sure won't be calling any female my "valentine "!!!

A Little Place Called........

Currently listening to: Trey Songz " Cheat On You "

On the theme song for Cheers its said that " sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name " and I definitely know that feeling. There's a little place that I like to take a trip to every so often but everyone doesn't know my name. Only 1 person knows my name when I'm there. When I go there I make sure that I'm extra fresh & I even got on the smell goods for my trip there. This is the type of place you go & you leave your shoes by the door. I make sure that I get my entire being inside because I don't want anything left behind. I can just be myself whenever I'm inside of those walls. When I'm there it feels like it was just constructed for me & that nobody else should ever be allowed. I always do beyond my best to make sure trip there is a memorable visit. Others when they visit like to do damage but I prefer to call it a much needed renovation. You know I'm more into tightening up some loose ends as opposed to necessarily knocking down walls. Even though there are times when knocking the wallks down is more like a come to work item. Regardless, this job takes a lot of care & attention to detail. Because even though the place is similar in concept each person's is different in its own right. That means you have to know how adapt to the environment you're in & still get the job done. Most importantly when my visit is done I have to make sure the water is not overflowing and that the lights are ready to go off upon my exit. This place goes by many names by many different men but to me it's a little place called........ HOME!!!

Change of plans.....

Currently listening to: R.Kelly " If I Could Turn Back The Hands Of Time "

I remember when I was a little boy I wanted to go Seton Hall & become a lawyer. But obviously that hasn't happened, now has it? I eventually discovered an interest in fairer sex plus the game of basketball so all the school work wasn't for me. The reason I began my blog with that story is because it's an example how things in life may change an original plan of yours. Regardless if its for the better or worse.

I'm a firm believer in the phrase, " Everything happens for a reason ". With that being said, it's a reason that some of my plans I had when I was younger have changed. Some of them changed into things that have worked in my favor & others not so much. The question is though do you allow variables in life to change your plans or do you continue with what initially had set out to do? I'm not really too much for the whole trial & error route to getting things accomplished. Sometimes it's more than a necessity to do so but I'd like to keep the error part to minimum. I have no problem with trying things but failing isn't too much of an option. I'll admit sometimes I change my plans in order to succeed when failure looks pretty obvious. There are even a couple of situations in which I have a failure to succeed. As much as I hate to fail, there is much needed balance between failure & success required in life. So I can't pick & choose which 1 I would like to accomplish at the time. I just gotta be ready to adjust to the different variables thrown into this equation we call life.

Cheaters/ Wifey.....

Currently listening to: Fabolous " Baby "

As a man I can't indentify myself with other men who cheat on the women they're in a relationship with. I've always just felt if its really to the point you would do something with another women then you shouldn't be in a relationship anymore. Obviously something in the relationship isn't going right. It can be physically, emotionally, or mentally something wrong in said relationship. If that's the case, then a dude mind as well get himself a " wifey ".

In my mind a " wifey " is just a man's main female. She gets better treatment that the rest of chicks he deals with. When 1 man ask another man if the female he's with is " wifey " it's basically to see if he can push up on her too. So if a man says, " Yea, thats wifey!! " then thats man talk for " Nah, you can't holla at her ". That doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have his chicks on the side but it means that she has a high status amongst his roster of ladies. But if the response is " No " then it means " If she down for it then go ahead my dude put ya work in ".

Basically I'm just stating the fact that " wifey " is not exactly the most endearing thing to call a female you care about. I'm not 1 for nicknames & shit of that nature but it sure as hell beats calling a chick my " wifey ".

Demons.....

Currently listening to: Stack Bundles " Peep Game "

The phrase skeletons in your closet is often used when a person has secrets they don't want to reveal. In all actuality, everyone has their own secrets or demons as I would say they're fighting against. Most people's demons come from a false perception they've led others around them to start to believe. They get in so deep that it becomes way to late to ever tell the truth. I've heard someone say a long time ago if you tell yourself the same lie enough you start to believe it. It always helps to have a confidant in which you be honest with but even in that case there are some things you always keep to yourself. As people fight their demons, the people around them maybe hurt in their attempts to keep their demons out of plain sight. Just remember that your loved ones will be there for you regardless of what demons you may be fighting against. So just make you don't give them reason to want to side with your demons & harm you as well.