Heart Of A Killer...........

Currently listening to:  Omarion " Icebox "

          My mother always told me that when I get upset I have an evil look in my eye as if I could kill a person. You know what, I know I am very capable of taking the life of another human being. Hate is an emotion I don't like to exercise but sometimes I feel it in brief spurts. The part of me that has some compassion tells me that it isn't right and then the feeling subsides. My friend Sarath thinks that I have a feeling of hatred for a certain someone who shall remain nameless. To set the record straight, I don't hate anybody ( plenty of people I strongly dislike but not hate ) because to hate is to let someone push you to the limit. I will not allow myself to ever be pushed to the limit. Nobody walking the face of this Earth is worth the time it takes to hate someone. But I do look in the mirror and see that look my mother tells me about. I don't get angry very often so when I do people should stay clear because I do get very irrational. I can do things I know will hurt people at times ( intentionally too) and have little regard of the outcome. That why I say heart of a killer, a killer can totally dismember another person and have no emotion. Sometime I just feel like I have an icebox where my heart should be ( yes I know thats part of a song ) and then I try to find some light in the situation. As of now I've almost approached the light at the end of the tunnel.................

I wonder........

Currently listening to: T.I. feat Kanye West, Jay-Z, and Lil Wayne " Swagger Like Us "

    Recently in my attempt to make progress from horrible heartbreak I've been associating myself with both females of old and new acquaintanceship. I've never been 1 to question what draws the opposite sex to me because I know damn well what it is. But I wonder what draws me to the opposite sex?!?! Like every female I like is night and day, for the most part none of them are a like. I know 1 thing is that I like females who don't allow me to bullshit them which is good because that shows they know how to stand up for themselves ( if a female is gonna let me run all over her, you better believe that I'm damn sure gonna do it ). I realize that what's starting to attract me to this 1 female and probably shouldn't because she got a boyfriend. But then again I don't feel bad because she's always tryna be around me ( where the fuck yo damn boyfriend at?!?!? ). I do respect what the next man has so thats exactly have to remind this chick constantly that she has a boyfriend ( 1 who's she been with for like 2-3 years, I know I could easily get in between their relationship but that ain't my style ). Then there's this new chick I met like a week ago. She seems real quiet and reserved which is something I'm not really used to. But I bet she's a big ass freak because it's always the quiet who like to get loose behind closed doors. Its fairly safe to say that my "romantic" life has taken an interesting turn since my experience with being in love. Until tomorrow I'll throw in a quote from Richard Ramirez (convicted serial killer, google that man )"You don't understand me, you are not expected to, you are not capable of it. I am beyond your experience. I am beyond good and evil."

Love In The Club........

Currently listening to: Cam'ron feat Jim Jones & Fredricka " Me, My Moms, and Jimmy "

            So last I went to this West Indian club in Brooklyn for my friend's birthday ( of course it was a female but not just any female. It's the same female friend with a boyfriend who I went out with like a month ago and it caused like WW III ). This was a very interesting night which lead to a good debate at the end of the night. This may have been the 1st time I ever been to any club in New York where the DJ was good. Dude was spinning some good records and not just all that nonsense people in New York listen to most of the time. But anyway, the debate of men who can't dance came about. Now I have always been a guy with plenty of rhythm  and have always had females tell me I'm a great dancer ( speaking of which this bitch asked me what island was I from just because I know all the reggae dances, I'm as american as apple pie ). So this chick is mad because the guy she came with can't dance and of course I find this hilarious. So we start talking and she says that he's lay good pipe down and I'm tryna figure out what's the big deal then. If putting that pipe down, who gives a shit if he can't!?!? But she says that shit is embarassing because she needs a guy she can take to the club. If I were her I'd just have someone I go to the club with. So the comparison of sex and dancing comes up....... 1 chick said that most likely if a guy can't dance then he can't fuck. Now of course that's not a full proof theory because the chick before said the dude who couldn't dance was handling his business in the sheets. So now that convo makes the question of the day...... if a person of the opposite sex can't dance do you assume they can't have sex well!?!?!

Brand new start.........

Currently listening to: Shawty Lo feat. Rick Ross & Jay-Z " Let's Get It "

      Not too long ago I previously had another blog but I stopped using the blog because of a change in my life ( the person who inspired me to start that blog isn't exactly 1 of my favorite people anymore and that's being modest ). I liked the blogging concept so I decided to start over and just blog about what ever the fuck I feel like blogging about regardless of when or where. I tried not to blog too much before but now I think I should blog as often as possible. 

       

      Apparently 1 of my female friends thinks it's something wrong with me talking to a white girl. But she's 1 of them political types who think black men should stay with their own. But what if I actually came across a female of another race who's good for me!?! Should I say " Nah, we can't go out I need me a sister "?! Happiness knows no race, religion, creed, or walk of life. Not like I'm gonna marry this chick anyway..... shit I probably won't even fuck her. Just got her number because she was cute and I was drunk in the club. Find me 1 man who calls all the numbers he gets from the club and I'll show you a loser. All I know is that I'm returning to my former self because I get a lot better results treating females like shit than I did when I attempted to treat 1 like she was worth something. So if a female can't really serve me a purpose besides fuckin' her then she's useless. All females got pussy so they gonna have to bring something else to the table.